Kestrel the Druid

We can answer this question in many ways.  We can use our name as our identity.  We can use our career as our identity. Or we can even use our hobbies as our identity. I think this is the first question anyone on any journey should ask themselves. So that is where I will start. Today I will try to tackle this age-old question.

This is a hard question to answer, because it is always filled with so many dichotomies.  I am a daughter and a mother. I am a scientist and a spiritualist.  I am a lover and fighter (aka bitch).  And then there is the “I don’t know who I am”.  “Who am I?” I am Michelle in the physical world.  I am called Kestrel Two Feet in the spiritual world.  I was given this name because of my ability to walk two paths at once.  One of mainstream and science and one of metaphysical and spiritual.  It has also allowed me to see the two sides of an argument.  I have always been capable of playing devil’s advocate, much to my mother’s aggravation. This has also left me with an identity crisis.  How can I be spiritual when I study science?  I tried to find scientific evidence that the spirit is real, and I tried using spirituality to explain science.  Both failed.  In my career, I learned that I am a unicorn, a vet tech that never wanted to work with pets.  I have a rare degree (BS in veterinary technology) and enjoy data review more than caring for the animals.  I believe all animals should be treated with love and care. This belief is in direct contrast to the life of a lab animal.  I justify it by saying they are saving lives and given the best possible care while in our hands.  I even volunteered to be a guinea pig myself to prove to myself that they’re lives aren’t that bad. Looking back, this logic was flawed; I chose to participate, the animals were forced.  I have gotten off topic; “Who am I?” I am a middle-aged female trying to figure that out.  The truth is, I don’t think I know exactly who I am.  If you asked those close to me that question, they would describe my personality. She is a beautiful kind woman.  She was a mean strict mother.  Coworkers would describe me as a hard-worker and helpful colleague.  I guess I am all those things and more. I am discovering that the answer to this question seems simple. Yet, it is much more complex than most can fathom.  If you are unsure of what to do or where to go, start with this simple yet complicated question.