Kestrel the Druid

What do I want? This question seems simple but can actually be quite perplexing. What do I want? I want to have all my bills paid. I want to have a nicer home. I want to eat all organic foods and enjoy the tastier selections in the stores. You get the point.

The problem with this question is there are so many possible ways to answer. What do I want out of life? What do I want to achieve? What do I want with my career? What objects do I want? I would buy things because I wanted them. I don’t know why I wanted them. I just wanted them. This has led to debt which I am now chained to. Many items I’ve purchased are now sitting in a dump somewhere, because I didn’t really want them. Cleaning out a home of a loved one who passed was eye-opening. Knick-Knacks that no one wanted. Decades of photographs that no one looked at. There whole life reduced to stuff. This stuff that nobody cared about. Why did we store clutter for years only to dispose of it at the end? Often it is because our world today tells us we must have these things to be happy and successful.

When I first asked myself this open-ended question, I was lost. I had no clue what I wanted. I meditated, journaled, and did other activities to find out what I wanted. I found one trick to help me answer this riddle. The biggest thing to remember is to always ask why? Why do I want this? One thing I presently want is to have solar panels installed. But why, so I won’t have an electric bill. So I can be more environmentally friendly. So I can be a better Druid. Another thing I want is to retire. Why? So I can sleep in. So I can have more time to practice Druidry. So I can take vacations. By asking why, I have avoided making purchases for the wrong reasons and save myself some money. It is starting off small. Why do I want the cookies? Because I’m hungry and they’re full of sugar (which I’m addicted to). Because they will bring me 1 minute of pleasure at the cost of my health long-term. So I don’t buy the cookies.

Last month was a bad month. I spent more money than I wanted to. For July, I’m hoping to cut my purchases in half, if not more. Wish me luck!