Kestrel the Druid

What is family? This can be a difficult question to answer for many. Many people define family as those you share a genetic ancestry with. For example, parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc. Others would say family is those you feel closest to. The people you want to spend more time with. For me, family are the people I love the most, and the people who annoy me the most. Regardless of how you define family, one thing is certain. Family means hard work, hurt feelings, tears, and being let down.

But if family is all those bad things, then why would anyone actually want to have a family? Because family can also be our greatest joy and happiness. Family is there for you when you are at your lowest. They grieve with you and help you when you need it the most. Family is the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s the hand up when you are falling down. They celebrate your successes and give support from your failures.

Some say family means “Never having to say you’re sorry”. This is not further from the truth. Family is the ones you apologize to the most and the ones who have to apologize to you the most. These are the people that are actions affect the most, and the ones that our actions hurt the most. Because they care about us the most. And we care about them the most.

Family are the people we fight with the most. Think about it. A stranger on the street cuts in front of you. You get a little upset and then go on about your day. Rarely would you confront them and start yelling at them about how much their action affected you. Why? Because you don’t care. You know that you will likely never have to see them again. But if your friend were to do that. It’s a whole other ballgame.

So, what do we do when there is conflict within a family? This may seem like common sense to most of you, but the straightest answer is to talk to them. Open, honest communication. Therapists will talk about how to communicate and how to say things in a calmer way. But the underlying message is the same – COMMUNICATE! This skill is getting worse and worse as time goes on. Each generation seems to have more and more problems communicating. It seems the more communication technology we produce; the worse communication actually becomes.

So, on this week of Thanksgiving, I wish for all of you to get together with family. Both those we were born into and the ones we chose and talk with them. Tell them about the stupid little things. Talk to them about your finances. Discuss politics, just don’t let it get heated. Talk about everything you’ve always been afraid to talk about.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and all those you call family!!