Kestrel the Druid

In my line of work, people often acquire a condition known as compassion fatigue. This is defined as becoming worn out from caring too much about those we care for. This is often times found in veterinarians and technicians, hospice workers, and family members caring for their loved ones. It is often seen as those afflicted no longer caring about themselves. They will forgo basic hygiene, lose interest in hobbies. I’ve seen them isolate themselves and in extreme cases suicide. Many experts will give ways to “treat” this condition and also give advice on how to prevent it. I would disagree with them, both on how to handle it and also with its cause.

What causes compassion fatigue? Most experts would say that it is a personal issue. One in which the person suffering from it has neglected their own needs. This neglect then leads to exhaustion. I would argue that the neglect and fatigue come not from within, but from the environment. People get exhausted because no one cares for them. Caring for sick and dying animals is often met with hostility from the clients. Followed by disregard from employers. In today’s world we often told that our wants and needs are unimportant. We here it often, “They have it worse than you”. When working in lab animal research, we are expected to watch as hundreds of animals die. And then go about our day as if we just watched a happy video. This constant emotional facade, and the lack of others caring for us, becomes emotionally draining and physically exhausting. No wonder so many in my profession only last a few years, before switching careers or committing suicide. The most basic cause of compassion fatigue is having people care about us. Always giving to others and never receiving in return. Eventually our cups run dry and refuse to hold water.

So then, how do we “treat” this condition? The answer should be simple. Simply care about each other. As someone with pets, don’t take your anger out on the messenger. Thank the veterinarians and their staff for taking care of your family. Be kind to your coworkers. Ask them how they’re doing. And truly listen to them if they start to talk about their problems. Employers can advocate for their employees. Instead of worrying about how much can be squeezed out of a day, focus on improving the quality of work. Ensure your employees feel heard.

Many years ago, one of my classmates had just had an emotional conversation with his wife. She called him while he was at school. She needed to vent about the problems she was having with the kids that day. After the phone call was over, he came to talk to me. He expressed frustration with not knowing what to say and how to fix the problem. As someone who was frequently in his wife’s shoes, I had some incite. I told him that she wasn’t looking for him to fix her problems. She just wanted someone to hear her and care about her. He didn’t need to give advice, just listen to her. Let her know that you cared. By simply listening to her that day (without trying to solve anything) he was doing exactly what she needed for him to do.

I am curious about how others feel about this topic. Have you ever suffered from compassion fatigue? I would love to hear your thoughts and your stories.

May you all have love in your heart, light in your life, and abundance overflowing.