Kestrel Two Feet

Fear is a pervasive aspect of life. All creatures feel it to some degree. It helps us avoid dangers in the world. But when that fear is overwhelming it can prevent us from living our lives to the fullest.

During today’s meditation, I learned that I am still terrified from my past. In many of my past lives, I died from trauma. This has led me to a heightened sense of danger in situations which pose no threat. I was plagued with visions of things like cooking dinner resulting in a fire which killed or injured my whole family. I am deathly afraid of enclosed spaces. Don’t ask me to get on an elevator, I’ll start seeing it get stuck and then plunging all occupants to its death. I could go on with all the ways I have envisioned my demise and the demise of those I love.

Recently I’ve noticed myself avoiding my favorite room. I’ve spent today wondering why. I have not come up with an answer yet. But I’m working on purposely going there and spending some time there to see what feelings come up.

So how do I live with all this fear. First, I try to imagine the best thing that can happen from any situation. Driving down the road, I picture getting to my destination safe and sound. And try to avoid the image of a fatal crash.

Next, I try and determine the source of this fear. My claustrophobia I learned stems from a past life in which I died in the trunk of a car. This was during a kidnapping gone wrong. It has forever left a mark on my soul that enclosed spaces which I am not in control of the exit, are dangerous. How does knowing the source of this fear help? By knowing the source, I don’t feel crazy anymore. It also helps me to recognize differences between the dangerous situation and the benign one. It doesn’t eliminate the phobia, but it does lower the intensity of the fear.

Finally, it helps me to understand that everyone feels fear during their lives. While you may not suffer from claustrophobia, everyone fears something. Maybe you fear rejection and so you are always trying to fit in. Maybe you fear spiders, or snakes, so you always avoid places where those animals are likely to be. Some people fear water and drowning, while others fear heights. Most people fear death and anything unknown.

The trick of living with your fears is not necessarily conquering them, but rather not letting them conquer you. It is ok to be afraid. But you should not let your fear control your thoughts and actions. This is easier said than done. Even knowing that my fears are unfounded, I still find myself letting them make my decisions. Using the mantra, “Better safe than sorry”.

I have been living less in fear by using some simple exercises to reduce their strength. By acknowledging them and examining them, it reduces the fear from unknowing. I’ve also been working on more mindfulness and conscious living. Paying more attention to what’s happening around me and why I’m doing certain things, helps me to break patterns earlier. Before they get a chance to become habits. And lastly, I’ve been focusing on living in the present more. Fear is usually a state of living in the future. We never fear the past, only what could happen if we do certain things. By living in the present and not thinking about tomorrow, my fear becomes more manageable.

I would love to hear how you manage your daily fears. Leave me a comment and tell me what most scares you and how you get through it.